So, if I hit Powerball

I buy Powerball tickets on occasion (if occasion means 3 or 4 times a month).  I do not know if I buy them because I think I will win, or if I just like the daydreaming that accompanies buying them.  I do know I buy them whether the jackpot is high or "low".  My favorite is when you ask somebody to go in on tickets and they say they only play when it is really high (because $20 million isn't worth their time).

I am sure everybody has thought what they would do with the jackpot (which currently stands at $81 million).  I know what I would do with it, and I am going to work off the $81 million dollar amount, actually the $45.5 cash value.

First I would take care of my family and friends (I had to say that otherwise they wouldn't take care of me if they hit).  I would have to tier my family and friends, because lets face it, family and friends are not created equal.  I am literally writing down the list as I type this, and no, I will not divulge where you may or may not fall (I'm feeding this list to Ave after I'm done, she eats anything).  Some guidelines, if you are married, you do not get to double dip, sorry I do not make the rules (umm...wait).

I figure there are 28 people I would want to (some have to) give some money.  Of those I figured 8 were in Tier 1 (finally all my family members dying off early helps me!) and the remaining 20 were in Tier 2.  So now I have to find out how much to give these guys...hmmm...how much does a cup of coffee cost nowadays?  I am kidding, I would have no problem giving up $15 million, or a third of my winnings.

The first tier members get a million dollars, so there goes $8 million, leaving $7 million for the remaining 20, it comes out to $350k each, wow, that worked out well.

I guess I should give some to charity.  I could choose to spread it around, but I will not, I am a millionaire, I can be eccentric.  I would definitely donate to the American Cancer Society, if you have read my previous entries, you know why.

So now that I have the nice crap stuff out of the way, it is time to have some fun.  It is time to have some serious selfish squandering.

As soon as I know I have won, I cash the ticket and drive straight to the airport, no packed bags, just a wad of cash and a plan to hit Hawaii as soon (and hard) as possible.  I have always wanted to see Hawaii and I would do it up right.  I am buying everything that I need new, and here is the kicker, when I leave, I am leaving it all there, because after Hawaii, I am heading to Sweden.

I have Swedish blood running thru my veins and I have a very unhealthy obsession with that fact (I'm a moron).  I have heard the country is beautiful, but the food is terrible (I'm a millionaire, I'll fly in whatever I want).  Again, I am buying everything new, and just leaving it for the maids as I head to Australia (this is beginning to sound like a Price is Right final showcase...$1 Bob, never Drew).

Australia would be my final stop on my unpacked trip, but do not worry mates, I am leaving my stuff behind for you, too.  I head home and start to buy some stuff I will keep around.

I immediately buy a home in my hometown, and since I am trying to be as realistic as possible, I go with this one for a cool $1.2 million (the lake alone makes it great for me).  I put in a complete Viking outdoor kitchen (there's that damn Swedish obsession again).

Of course I need a brand new ride (tho I will keep the 2009 G6).  I am thinking of two distinctly different cars.  The first car is the 2014 Cadillac XTS, it is beautiful at $72k.  I am from a General Motors family and I do love my Caddy's.  The second is in honor of my father, a Ford guy.  So I go with this, a 1967 Ford Mustang Shelby GT500 for $650k.  I guess I have to relearn how to drive stick.

So now that I have my new home, my new cars, I need something to occupy my time.  I am thinking a really nice restaurant/bar.  I have to hold court somewhere, right?  My favorite types of food are seafood and Italian, but since I am still watching what I eat (hey, I can't go backwards after all the hard work I've put in) I go surf and turf.  I am thinking I call it Black Pines (I have no idea why, it kinda just popped into my head).  I tell people when they are walking into an uncomfortable situation to "walk in like they own the place", but do not try that crap in Black Pines, because I own it (Boom!).

Clearly I am a Crossfit nut (warning...warning...Crossfit dream gushing is coming), so I would have to talk to my instructor about letting me in on his ownership as I build a state-of-art box (that's what the Crossfit gyms are called, I didn't make it up).  If I am not chilling beside my lake, cooking at the Viking kitchen (Thor!), holding court at the Black Pines, there is a good chance I am at the newly built Crossfit Box (conveniently located across the street from my new house).

Oh, and since I like to cook, I will not need a personal chef, but I will need a personal shopper to buy the best of the best, of course.  Speaking of cooking, I am all over taking some classes to know how to get better at cooking. In fact...

I am all over becoming a professional student.  I really enjoy learning, and lets face it, if I fail, I will buy the professor off (it worked for Rodney Dangerfield).  I would learn to cook, improve my writing skills, study therapy, history and anything else that caught my attention.

I would be remiss if I did not mention the private boxes I would own at Heinz Field, PNC Park, Consol Energy Center and The Petersen Events Center.  I do love my Pittsburgh sports.

Oh and in case you are wondering where my kids fit in all of this, they will have to earn their money, just...like...I...dang.