13. The Express check-out line. If the check out line says 12 items or less, then you should have 12 ITEMS OR LESS! Is it really that hard to count to 12?
11...er, I mean 12. Lack of traffic etiquette. If I let you merge in front of me, give me a wave, a nod, a thumbs up, a job, basically anything saying "thanks for letting me in so I can now pump my breaks so much you will get car sick." I mean really people, even if you are talking on your phone, acknowledge that somebody did something nice.
11 (for real). Corporations phasing out humans. Automated phone systems need to go away. I get the cost factor, but I hate them all the same. The worst ones are the ones that hitting zero does not automatically take you to a real person (I'm unemployed, somebody talk to me!!).
10. Caillou...little bastard.
9. One-Uppers. If you want to try to one-up me, bring it on. As a member of the one-upper club, I am a self loather, I admit it (I bet I admitted it before you did).
8. Giving my kids a bath. I do it because I do not want them to stink like my car after a week of leaving Crossfit gear on the front seat. I hate it though. They splash every where, Ave hates getting her hair washed, they never want to get out (even when their lips are blue from the water turning into ice) and they are so wound up after I want to slip them some Ambien (as far as you know I haven't).
7. Non-Heinz Ketchup. I am from Pittsburgh, if you try to pass that Hunts crap off on me, I will get fired up. Seriously, Heinz is one of two products that no matter how broke I may be, I will always buy. The other one is...
6. Jiff Peanut Butter. I tried some cheaper brand, but like those choosey moms, I prefer Jiff. Peter Pan and Skippy can bite my Jiff-eating arse. As an aside, if you have a hyper active dog, when you are at the end of the jar, just give it to the pup and they will be busy for a long time.
5. Double Unders. This is where you try to get a jump rope around twice per jump, as opposed to once. I whip myself in the shins, the toes, the arms, the head, basically if I have the body part, it has been treated to a welt. I did 30+ in a row once...once, after over 18 months of trying. I can usually get 7-8 now, but they are the worst thing Crossfit makes me do. Also, how do I make my shoulders sore by jumping rope, I am a moron.
4. Not being super early for something. Please do not misunderstand this, I do not mind being late, if I am with somebody. For some reason, if it is just me, I have this overwhelming feeling that I need to be early. I get to Crossfit Latrobe at least 30 minutes early every day. I do not know why, actually I do, I am insane.
3. Not being asked how I am doing/told hello by a cashier. Yep, this one annoys me. Maybe it is from working retail in high school and college (thank you for calling Champs Sports, home of the buy 78 coats get one free offer, how may I help you today?) or maybe it is from some weird Freudian-type abandonment issues, but I wait for that greeting from them, and if I do not get it, I chalk them up as the scum of the Earth.
2. Overly insane sports fans (coughsomesteelerfanscough). You are not a coach, you will never be a coach and for the love of all that is holy, just because you played JV elementary ball you are not an expert. I listen to sports talk radio on occasion, I was unaware of how many coaches the Pittsburgh-area sports teams had.
1. Hearing about somebody's new hobby. Speaking of hobbies, have you heard of Crossfit? It is the greatest thing ever, it keeps me sane, it has helped me lose around 75 pounds, it has improved my life, it has introduced me to amazing people, it pushes me, it centers me, it makes me happy, it makes me sweat, but does everybody need to hear about that...yes, yes you do. Deal with it and do not let the little things annoy you.
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