So, holidays without the kids

Thanksgiving my kids were with their mother, which left me heading to my aunt's house by myself.  See, at least for me, holidays without the kids are not that bad before or during the normal festivities (tho I freely admit that I am an odd individual), it is the time after leaving the family gathering that gets to me.

I was spoiled when I was married.  My ex-wife did not have a big family and what family she had was spread out or she was not close with, so we did not spend a lot of holidays with them.  While I liked spending time with her family (despite being PSU fans, lets go Pitt!), I always liked spending time with my family more.  So like I said, I was spoiled.

So when we got divorced, I gained even more time with my family around the holidays, but I lost my kids for half the holidays during the year. 

Like I said earlier, it is not the time before the day's activities that get to me (I got to stop over and see my kids before making the trip to my aunt's house).  The trip is the same I have made for over 10 years, so I can make it in my sleep (this year I ate so much I think I was actually in a turkey-stuffing-potato-green bean coma for the ride home). 

Even the unofficial, yet official, traditions were the same.  I am the oldest grandchild, but probably the most immature (shocker).  The cousins play a game where we guess what my Grammy Rue is going to wear to dinner (she's in her 80s and still has her wits, but I know where I get my fashion "style")  Even if a cousin is not around, a mass text is sent out so we can get our guesses in before dinner time.  For the record I lost with a not-even-close guess of blue elastic pants and a white sweater, my youngest cousin was not close either going with black pants and red sweater.  Nope, my brother in-law, who was well over 1,000 miles away in Denver nailed it to a tee with a guess of a pink velour jumpsuit (who even thinks of something like that?).  

The cousins tend to go to one room of the house where we sit around and make fun of each other, mainly at the expense of my youngest cousin (luv ya stinky).  So things were the same as far as what we did.

I missed my kids, but I was not distracted by the fact my kids were not there.  We still ate...and ate...and ate...I can not wait to go to Crossfit Latrobe and work off all the calories.  We still took bets on when my uncle would leave after dinner (if you take anything over five minutes you are pretty much guaranteed to lose).

It starts to get real, and uncomfortable, for me as other people start to leave.  See when I have my kids, I have that parental clock.  You start to notice the little things, things that nobody else would notice about your kids signalling they are close to their limits.  For Luke, he stops trying to wrestle with my cousin (it is neat to see the two of them interact, since we used to wrestle when he was little, I have him by about 12 years).  With Avery, she starts to get cranky, but she also starts to hide behind my legs.  When those things happen, I know it is time to go, without them...well...I am kind of adrift in a sea of confusion.

I grab my coat, keys, phone and wallet.   I say my good-byes with hugs and then I am out into the cold (I really dislike the cold).  This is where it really starts to hit that I am heading to an empty house without my children.  I have nothing, I mean nothing to do when I go home.  The house is clean, the laundry done, the dishes done, Colby is fed and it is a holiday, so friends are either in their own food coma or they are still with family (and besides I went out the night before, I can't make a habit of going out, can I...hmmm).  The ride home, which seemed like it took forever on the way down, goes way too fast on the way back.

Now I know my kids are having a good time with their mother, and that is comforting, however it is not all encompassing comforting.  It was only about seven at night when I got home, so I have a lot of time to kill.

I am notorious for forgetting to turn on my outside front door light when I leave, and of course I forgot again last night, so it is dark when I opened the door to a happy puppy (Colby rocks).  Luckily somebody a lot smarter than me invented texting and Facebook (if that didn't exist, where would I shove my blog links down your throats, myspace...please).

Crossfit at 5:30am helps to get me going in the morning, but even better is that I got my kids back around 9:00am, and they have some serious energy and hugs for me.  The even better news is the next holiday is mine, and it is the holiday, and that makes me smile.