I play the "what if" game over and over and over and...a million times. I will start out with the mindset that everything is great (a really nice starting point), then I will start to pick it apart. I liken it to the scene in The Shawshank Redemption where the main character has a rock hammer (it is about the size of a dollar) and starts to tunnel thru this cell wall. It takes him years and years, but eventually he gets to freedom. The problem is I am using the rock hammer to chisel away at that great starting point until it is nothing but a pathway to 500 yards of crap-smelling foulness.
Now, keep in mind I know what I want. I even know how to get it. The problem is when I get close to it. It is like I need a clone to just make that decision, and if it does not work out, then I get to step in and say "hey, just kidding" and I would start over.
If life was like Crossfit, I would be a very happy person. You either get the exercise completed correctly, or you do not and you try to correct the issue. There is no gray (btw, gray with an A is the American spelling, or so I was told when my daughter was given her middle name of Gray).
The human mind is amazing and maddening. I would love to know how I can be so sure of some things, and so scared of others. I have been using the quote "you don't get the courage to do something until after you have done it" lately. I really hope whoever originally said that was a smart person.
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