The anxiety I get will keep me awake for days at a time. It will wake me up in a flash. I will bounce between wanting to cry, to throw up, to throw something, to total exhaustion. When I go into panic attack mode, I have symptoms that seem like a heart attack. I get pains down my arms, chest pains, cold sweats, shortness of breath and a heart rate so high it feels like it could explode.
I do not want anybody to touch me or talk to me, but I want somebody near me. Just somebody being close to me is comforting, knowing that they are available is so important to me when I am battling my own mind.
I know that there are a lot of stresses that add to my anxiety (right now the list is way too long), but it typically manifests itself as a belief I have cancer (gee, I wonder where that comes from?).
Anxiety, for me at least, can make me fidgety and hyper while not allowing me to get stuff done. It is like my ability to accomplish anything and rest are completely at odds. I can be in the middle of something and the ability to focus is non-existent because I can not get my mind off something damaging.
I do all that I can to curb my anxiety, and I am doing a nice job of it, but every once in a while it creeps up. I work out like a madman (I love Crossfit), I pick up as many hobbies as possible (cooking, reading, cleaning, writing, etc.) just so I can try to keep my mind busy. I have gone to my therapist to hash things out. I surround myself with positive and amazing people on a daily basis, because I believe being around positive makes you positive.
Basically this entry is to say to people with anxiety, I get it. It sucks and no amount of words can fix it. It is also to say to those that are dealing with somebody that suffers with anxiety, it is not an easy thing to battle your own mind on a daily basis. Just be there for them, and ask them what how you can be there. Do not try to do too much and do not blow their concerns off. Be patient.
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