So, please forgive my kids

Try as I might, I have my limitations.  Unfortunately for my kids, a lot of my limitations affect them.  For example:

-Please forgive my kids when they do not match (to be fair I rarely match).  I am a color blind guy, it is just how it is.  So when the Blonde Blur and Stud walk out of the house wearing brown shoes with black pants, just shake your head and mutter about their father.  When the Blur is wearing five different shades of pink (not to be confused with all the shades of gray that women talk about), just chalk it up to her dad not realizing there are are more than one shade of colors.

My Dinkus actually came over to help me color coordinate outfits (I think that was her subtle way of telling me I am bad at dressing my kids).

-When you see my daughter's hair in pony tail and it looks like she did it...well...she did not.  I have been flying solo on the pony tail tying for over two years, and I can not figure out how to keep all the hair in that stupid elastic puzzle of a hair tie. 

I am hoping the wind-blown messy look comes into style real quick.

-My kids fart in public and laugh.  Yeah...this one is easy to explain...I think it is funny too.

-Please forgive my kids when they belt out a waaaaaayyy off key song.  I have absolutely no musical ability, yet I like to screech out songs while with the kids.  Of course I do not tell my kids how bad they are when they sing (though maybe I should), so they think they are good.  What is even worse is they think I am good, so if they are trying to emulate me...ugh.

-Please forgive my son when he starts spouting out stats on left-handed relief pitchers from 1980s Pirate teams.  He gets daily lessons on how baseball was played, who played it, the unwritten rules, etc.  So if my son comes up to you and says "Cutch's OPS is in the top five and Volquez's xFIP indicates he won't be able to sustain his current success", do not call a priest for an exorcism, his dad has just gone way overboard with baseball (I can't wait until my daughter does this too).

-Finally, forgive my kids when they sweat...and trust me they sweat...a lot.  My son can walk for five seconds and he will look like he did the Boston Marathon.  This kid probably loses ten pounds a day from running around (lucky).