So...dreams

So...dreams (slippy* lil buggers)

If the idea of achieving your dreams were concrete (and maybe your dreams involve concrete in some way, who am I to judge)mine would be as elusive as my two year old avoiding bedtime with a bag of M&Ms in her system (thank you to her grandmother), as confusing as someone on Twitter admitting they were wrong and would be as clear as mud in a blender full of protein powder.

I have long wanted to be a novelist, that is my dream. I have started quite a few projects (I like the word project because it makes feel like I am building something) but I have finished exactly zero of them (at least I'm consistent). I get so into the idea, tear into it like a frozen Kit Kat (two of them are well over 20,000 words),only to have it melt all over the dash of car. Sure I notice it later, but it is just mainly realizing I have to clean melted goop.

I tend to be very motivated and then I just fade away...kinda like this blog thingy (next entry scheduled for June 2020). I could say it is because life gets in the way (sorta true), writer's block (definitely true), fear of success (hahaha), fear of failure (nope) but really what it comes down to is actually doing it.

Sure I have an amazing family I like to spend time with, a solid job, household responsibilities but to say I do not have 10 minutes a day to jot dahn* a note or an idea that needs fleshed out, handwriting or typing a few paragraphs in between the constant "Daddy, can I have <insert stupid request here>?" or to research on the Google machine is absurd. Of course I can do those things, but I am more interested in why I am not doing them.

What the hell is wrong with me (aside from the obvious)? Why won't I keep chasing my dream? If I weighed all the time I decided to just "relax on the couch" (why did I put that in quotation marks), all the time I flipped thru the Netflix options and all the time I have used to peruse Twitter, well it would weigh nothing, but damn even using just 10% of that time I would have finished 10 novels.

So I am going to do my best to chase my dreams using just 10% of that truly irreplaceable time...starting tomorrow of course.





*Pittsburghese