This Ain't Me

That guy up there...he ain't me.

So I am just going to act like I have been writing continually for the last five-six months, because...well...that is what I am going to do.

I know I will not be the guy in the above picture. I definitely will not be booked in Lake County, CA (I'm not ruling out Irvine tho).  However, I know I need to keep improving.

I have noticed some key areas of my life that I want to make better.  Chief among them is becoming a better father.  My girlfriend (I know, somebody wants to date me...crazy) has been helping me by calling me out on my shit (thank you dinkus).  The shit that I am talking about is that I am a coddler.  I am awesome (shameless I think I am a good dad plug) at the kiss-the-boo-boo stuff and the hug stuff and the cave-in because a little blonde blur with beautiful blue eyes starts the lower-lip quiver. 

Where I struggle, and I am getting better, is the cave-in because a little blonde blur with beautiful blue eyes starts the lower-lip quiver.  I do not do it because it is easier to cave (ok sometimes I do, when I am tired and simply want to get an extra 15 minutes of quiet), but typically I do it because I want the kids to be happy.  I can not keep doing that.

The short-term happiness of my Punkinhead and Stud can not outweigh what structure and discipline will provide them over the long haul (and I am planning on being around for a VERY long time, I have to see the Buccos win a World Series after all).  They deserve the structure and discipline, as well as the sweet stuff (which will still be there).

I am making active changes. Chief among them is I recently switched from a home-based sitter to a pre-school daycare.  Punkinhead needs this to be better prepared for school.  Stud needs it so he can be around kids his own age during the summer.

I have started the kids in an exercise program (it's not Crossfit...WHAAATTTT?!?).  They are definitely not overweight...like not even a little bit...like to the point I am jealous.  However, it is something they can look forward to, it gives them structure, it is social time, and it burns energy (precious, precious energy).  It is also something that we can bond over.  I work out (again, not Crossfit....WHAAAATTT?!?) and then it is their time.  I look forward to taking them and they look forward to going.

I am becoming more stern with them.  That sounds bad (and it was weird to type), but they need it and I need it.  When it is bedtime, it is bedtime.  When I make dinner, they eat what I make and they eat at the table.  The whining is there, but it is getting less every day (which makes my time with them even more enjoyable).

I do not want my kids to be little soldier, robotic, cookie-cutter zombies doing everything I ask (well...), but I do want them to be as prepared as possible to kick the crap outta the world (let's face it, the world kicks back) while keeping their individuality (speaking of individuality, Punkinhead literally just walked up to me giggling with a caterpillar crawling up her arm).

Time to go parent the hell outta these two.